http://www.scribd.com/doc/25942947/Gary-Longooney
I was mowing the grass, when a large Bolivian man walked past, with a crocodile on a leash. As I stroked the large reptile, he introduced himself as Gary Longooney. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Do whatever you please
This was a great short story. I thought that your detail enhanced the story a great deal. I liked how you included an intro about Gary, and included hints about what he was doing. You might want to think about adding a more substancial ending and body to your story. It seemed that after they exhanged the bananas, the plot happened so fast. You should think about adding more to your ending and your body pasts of your story. Overall, I thought that it was a great story.
ReplyDeleteMitch, I love reading your writing. You make me laugh with how creative you are, and I can only imagine the way your brain works. I liked your story, but I agree with Brandon that it did happen very fast. Great job :)
ReplyDeleteMitch you are a very great writer. Your wit and humor are always top notch and this story shows it. Your story brought me in and i really didnt want it to end. As i was reading this it was like watching a movie except it was in my head. Your use of excellent detail helps put the story into one long roll of film. I really loved this story. One suggestion could be to lengthen the story because sa the others above have said that the story progressed rather quickly. I really hope you will become a writer once you graduate and i will for sure read your stories. You did a very wonderful job and you should feel proud about what you accomplished.
ReplyDeleteMitch, this is a great story with a lot of great description. However, I think it ended to sudden and it seems that your plot was very short and was not able to fully express what it could have. However, this is a wonderful piece and I hope you will continue writing your crazy stories.
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