This is a piece I wrote about how much I love the fall and it's leaves. I wrote it 1st qaurter because fall was coming to an end, and winter soon coming. Fall is my Favorite season , and I hate to see it, and the leaves go away. Hope you like it!
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http://www.scribd.com/doc/25875965/2nd-Piece-Fall-Leaves-Were-My-Friends
Lovely poem Ashely. My favorite part was the last verse, i thought it was a good way to end the poem. One thing i would suggest is not to rhyme inside with inside or memories with memories. To me, if you are going to rhyme something it should not be the same word. I could tell from this poem that you really enjoy the fall and the leaves. Fall is my favorite season too! Keep writing poems and such.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a nice poem. I thought you should try to reword the third verse. Also, I would like to have some more description about the leaves or other things in the poem. You should also try to use different words to rhyme with each other instead of inside and inside. Overall, it was a good poem though.
ReplyDeleteI love this poem ashley! I love fall and this is an interesting poem. But what I saw that you could revise was some rhyming. You put memories and memories, and also inside and inside. But this piece really showed your inner voice. I think maybe you should also have put in some different words (I didn't understand the cow moos) but it was an awesome piece!
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