This is a true story I wrote about an adventure I had at my grandma's. It isnt inspired by anything, it is just a fun memory I had and decided to write it down.
**Address: Grammer, word choice, sentence fluency, discription of characters, ect.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/26169605
~Lizz Polasky
hahahahha!i loveeeeee this story!! It's never once boring and kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time:)nice job!!!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story Liz and I really enjoyed reading it! the only thing I would change would add a little bit more description of the characters, for example Graham and Anna's ages. Other than that I thought this was a very great piece! Good job (:
ReplyDeletehahaha!!! i remember when you first told me this story! And knowing you, Caleb and Anna this sounds about right! i loved the ending and i laughed all the way through. this is one of those stories that you will always laugh about! haha good job. i would just re-read the first paragraph because there were some words that weren't needed.
ReplyDeleteLiz, this story is really funny. I like how it's just meant to be a funny story, it's very light. I don't think you need to fix anything. This is truely a great story! You did a great job on description!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA Liz that was so great. I wish I would have adventures with my cousins like you do with yours, but they're all younger than me. I saw very few errors! You may want to put a few apostrophies in at some places, but if you don't the story would be just as great. This was really a great story and can't say much to crtisize it, great job!
ReplyDeleteHaha this was a funny story! I felt like I was on an adventure the whole time and it never slowed down. There were a few gramatical errors, but other than that, it was great!
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