This is a true story about my experiences moving from Chicago and making the transitions here in Aurora. If you've moved before, you can relate to this experience, and for those of you who haven't, this story pretty much sums it up. As Rossane Cash once said, "the key to change...is to let go of fear." I hope you enjoy my story.
*Press
http://www.scribd.com/doc/25867938/My-Moving-Experience
Nice job on your story! I would maybe add in more examples of experiences, or make the peice a bit longer next time. Overall, I liked the peice alot and it showed alot of your feelings through the experience which is great to do in a peice like that!
ReplyDeleteWow, dude that was touching haha. but seriously it was very well-written. i actually enjoyed reading it, and that doesn't happen a lot. i can't really press it. i do agree with kristen that you couldve definitely made it longer, i wouldnt have gotten bored. but then again there might not have been too much to add. by the way i dont ever remember laughing at you haha, mustve been some other jerks.
ReplyDeletewow bro that was heart warming. i had no idea how much emotion you went through when you moved to Aurora. i was reaaly into that piece, and i could have read it forever. it would have been a little better if it was longer. but anyway, i don't remember any of us laughing at you haha, i think we were just kind of wondering who you were. great job!
ReplyDeleteMore detail and length would create a better understanding of what you wen through
ReplyDeleteSup Chicag. i thought that the piece was unbelievebly great. you captured the emotion, you kept me interested (which is a hard thing to do), and your word choice was awesome. i couldn't find anything to criticize so i guess you're geting blessed
ReplyDelete