I thought this was really good! I really liked your use of description and also all your adjectives. The only suggestion that I have is to maybe explain a little more because it was a little confusing. If you could explain a little more of what happened in the story this would be a really great piece.
Well, thank you for telling me that your character is a girl durring class because it really confused me, but I actually think this is pretty neat. I WAS sad when I found out it was a girl though. It disapointed me. This could be a cute love story... if you're into that kind of thing. Your description is great too, like Claire said. It made me want to read more.
I love your word choice and plot of this story. Its an amazing start I think it just needs some minor grammer editing and clear up the setting and the reason for their hiding. Maybe desrcibe where they are standing and have a flash back of what happened with the knife and the "bad things" thy were doing.
I thought this was really good! I really liked your use of description and also all your adjectives. The only suggestion that I have is to maybe explain a little more because it was a little confusing. If you could explain a little more of what happened in the story this would be a really great piece.
ReplyDeleteWell, thank you for telling me that your character is a girl durring class because it really confused me, but I actually think this is pretty neat. I WAS sad when I found out it was a girl though. It disapointed me. This could be a cute love story... if you're into that kind of thing. Your description is great too, like Claire said. It made me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteI love your word choice and plot of this story. Its an amazing start I think it just needs some minor grammer editing and clear up the setting and the reason for their hiding. Maybe desrcibe where they are standing and have a flash back of what happened with the knife and the "bad things" thy were doing.
ReplyDelete