This is a story I wrote that was a bit short. I figured it would be a base for a story and I would rewrite it in another form later on. Please press it, I can take the hit.
I found this peice to very enjoyable. The suspence displayed outstanding plot development. if I were you, I would try to describe things more, and provide a little more in way of sub plots. Overall, great job.
Austin, I found this piece to be a good read. It had good suspense, but I had trouble figuring out what point of view this was because it seemed like the thoughts centered around one person, so 3rd person limited? I don't know, but great piece.
This is a great piece of writing. I liked how as the story progressed, it became more suspenseful. You should work on details of the characters more because you really do not know much about either of them. Their hair color, personality, ext. You could create their different personalities by adding addition dialogue that expresses their opinions. I think that you should leave your ending alone because it was well-developed, and ended the story nicely. Overall, there is only minor things that you could edit in this story.
I found this peice to very enjoyable. The suspence displayed outstanding plot development. if I were you, I would try to describe things more, and provide a little more in way of sub plots. Overall, great job.
ReplyDeleteAustin,
ReplyDeleteI found this piece to be a good read. It had good suspense, but I had trouble figuring out what point of view this was because it seemed like the thoughts centered around one person, so 3rd person limited? I don't know, but great piece.
This is a great piece of writing. I liked how as the story progressed, it became more suspenseful. You should work on details of the characters more because you really do not know much about either of them. Their hair color, personality, ext. You could create their different personalities by adding addition dialogue that expresses their opinions. I think that you should leave your ending alone because it was well-developed, and ended the story nicely. Overall, there is only minor things that you could edit in this story.
ReplyDelete