Wow, great piece. You used emotion and i really liked how you explained what each of them were doing like clenching fists and digging nails into palms. It really gave the story depth while the opposing character didn't see it. I think it is a strong piece that could be made better with a little longer ending and its perfect! Maybe make it dramatic as one walks away? Just put an end to it and its great!
Katie, this was a really touching piece of writing. Your use of imagery completely had me vulnerable as if I was in your shoes. I understand exactly where you're coming from with this piece, and you displayed your emotions and feelings beautifully.
This is a really strong piece, Katie. I'm sure everyone can relate to this piece at least a litte bit. Not everyone can be that open about emotions like that so I think you should be very proud of this piece. Great job! (:
This is a really emotional piece, Katie. Your details and character's thoughts make it really clear and I'm sure everyone can relate to what you have written. Like Deanna said, you should be proud of this piece. Nice job :)
Katie, I thought your piece was really good. Your details and descripition created great imagagery.I could picture exactly what was happening in my head. I also thought your voice in this piece came through really strong and your emotions really came through. Overall it was a really strong piece. Great job!
Katie, this is an amazing piece! You really put a lot of feeling into it. I liked it a lot. This piece is really emotional like the people before me said. Great Job!
Katie, It takes a lot to put up something personal like that. And not only is it emotional and truthful, but it's amazing writing. You've always been amazing with description and voice. I remember being in Caminati's class listening to her read one of your pieces. Beautiful... as always.
Thanks everyone.. :) I know I asked for Bless but thanks for feedback anyway, haha :) It did take a lot to put this up here, but I didn't think that changing the names would make it as meaningful as it is to me with the right names in it. I know that caused some "talk" or whatever. Not everyone knows what it's like to be in love.. and not everyone knows what it's like to lose that. I thought this piece captured heartbreak, which is exactly why it's my favorite. Anyway, thanks again :) I totally rambled but that's probably because it's four in the morning. Haha. <3
Wow, great piece. You used emotion and i really liked how you explained what each of them were doing like clenching fists and digging nails into palms. It really gave the story depth while the opposing character didn't see it. I think it is a strong piece that could be made better with a little longer ending and its perfect! Maybe make it dramatic as one walks away? Just put an end to it and its great!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good piece. There was a lot of emotion and detail. I liked how you used all the description without giving away the other character.
ReplyDeleteKatie, this was a really touching piece of writing. Your use of imagery completely had me vulnerable as if I was in your shoes. I understand exactly where you're coming from with this piece, and you displayed your emotions and feelings beautifully.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really strong piece, Katie. I'm sure everyone can relate to this piece at least a litte bit. Not everyone can be that open about emotions like that so I think you should be very proud of this piece. Great job! (:
ReplyDeleteThis is a really emotional piece, Katie. Your details and character's thoughts make it really clear and I'm sure everyone can relate to what you have written. Like Deanna said, you should be proud of this piece. Nice job :)
ReplyDeleteKatie,
ReplyDeleteI thought your piece was really good. Your details and descripition created great imagagery.I could picture exactly what was happening in my head. I also thought your voice in this piece came through really strong and your emotions really came through. Overall it was a really strong piece. Great job!
Katie, this is an amazing piece! You really put a lot of feeling into it. I liked it a lot. This piece is really emotional like the people before me said. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteKatie, It takes a lot to put up something personal like that. And not only is it emotional and truthful, but it's amazing writing. You've always been amazing with description and voice. I remember being in Caminati's class listening to her read one of your pieces. Beautiful... as always.
ReplyDeleteI already commented on this, but totally agreed with Jena!!
ReplyDeleteWow Katie! This is a great piece their is a lot of emotion and you can really put yourself into the character's shoes. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone.. :) I know I asked for Bless but thanks for feedback anyway, haha :) It did take a lot to put this up here, but I didn't think that changing the names would make it as meaningful as it is to me with the right names in it. I know that caused some "talk" or whatever.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone knows what it's like to be in love.. and not everyone knows what it's like to lose that. I thought this piece captured heartbreak, which is exactly why it's my favorite.
Anyway, thanks again :) I totally rambled but that's probably because it's four in the morning. Haha. <3