http://www.scribd.com/doc/26005024/Texting-Oh-Texting
I wrote this piece because I think texting is taking over our ever day lives. I have to admit that I did get a new phone for Christmas, and I do text a lot. Who doesn't? In my poem I tend to refer to texting like it's King Kong taking over the world. I do this because it truly annoys me when you are trying to hold a conversation with someone, but you can't because they are trying to multi-task. From what I know, most people can't hold two conversations at once. I guess what I'm getting to is that we need to work on face-to-face communication and phone calls. That is how things get done. That is how we advance society. I'm pretty sure President Obama doesn't text what he plans to do to Congress.
Please PRESS my piece.
Zoe I totally agree with you and i like your piece a lot!
ReplyDeleteI loved this! When I read this, I laughed, mostly becasue it is totally true. I text a lot, it is kind of addicting, but I know I should try to do it less. You have a great writting style, keep up the good writting!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true Zoe! I thought your piece was written very well and I liked the idea a lot. I think you only need to work on the sentence fluency, but other than that, good job!
ReplyDeletePress it:?! I have nothing bad to say! It rhymed, its true, you had good description and everything flowed so well. Great job Zo! I can't think of anything else to say!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this poem because it is very true. As rachael said some of the sentances did not flow together such as "The old days were good and texting free. Now no one e-mails; their rates trickle down." If you were to fix the sentance fluency then this would be a very entertaing piece for all to read.
ReplyDeleteI like the peice. It proably could be a bit better if you made it more clear to the reader:)i lovee textinggg!hahaha
ReplyDeleteI like the ending it was great, but it could of flowed a little better. I love texting though. (:
ReplyDeleteVery good job :) I love the parts when you said "ping" it was a very good word that helped yuo imagine it. The only thing you could improve on would be how it flows together.
ReplyDeleteI think you had a great piece and everything about it is true. people should spend more time doign more important things. I don't think their were many errors and i like the way it flowed! goood job(:
ReplyDeleteI really like your poem! Although I wish it wasn't true about how it't taking over our lives it is. I llke you the rhyming, and it flows well.
ReplyDeleteI really have nothing bad to say! Your poem made me laugh because it's so true. I like the stanza set up and the way it flowed. Nice job, Zoe(:
ReplyDeleteNice Job Zoey! I really loved this poem. I know you wanted your poem to be pressed but I don't know what could be improved. You had great sentence fluency, word choice, and rythme. It was awesome!
ReplyDeleteZoe, i thought this piece was really good. I think it could have been a little longer, and added some more of your oppinions to it. Other than that i thought it was a really good piece. Good Job.
ReplyDeleteZoe! I loved it! I liked how you used words that were an onomatopoeia. And I thought the last stanza was a good catch-like phrase. As to what could have made it better? That stumps me. Great job and keep writing!
ReplyDeleteZoe! I literally laughed after I read this! This is so true, especially for me! Nice word choice, maybe even more onomatapoeias other than "ping". Maybe you could even talk about other effects of texting! But really great job referring to everyday life.
ReplyDeleteThis peom was very well structured and stuck to the guidelines of a peom. I liked the topic and admired your ability to turn it so well into a poem, but there were a few phrases that could've been streched or explained just a bit more.
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