http://www.scribd.com/doc/25879626?secret_password=114scawa3f9tqbri8e5p
I didn't exacty have an inspiration for this peice. I was texting Kim about going to the beach last summer, and it had me starting to think about the sand, the water, and the warmth. when i began type this story came out on the paper. i hope you enjoy this short peice of writing :) k bye!
-Sabrina
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I really liked this story and its suprising twist. It was really interesting and the voice of the story was definately good. I liked your word choice and how the story went along. Maybe you could make the story a little bit longer to make it even more interesting.
ReplyDeletethis is a pretty good story and it it pretty interesting and funny. i dont think there is much you can do to make it better, but maybe you could write about something a little more inspirational. haha
ReplyDeletetron,
ReplyDeletegood times at the beach! pretty intresting story, I really liked the idea and plot, differnt but good(:. There wasnt much wrong with your short story. Maybe add more detail? ha
I think this story is pretty good. but I think (even though it's a bit obvious) that you should make a heading or something to signal the reader that you are changing points of view. but other than that it was good.
ReplyDeleteSabrina, I think your description is really good. I think it had a suprising twist, which was interesting. I think you could write something with a little more depth, but this good. Good Job:)
ReplyDeletegood story, i really like the irony that takes place in the plot. i know it was supposed to be a short story, but you maybe could have made it a little longer to add more detail. other than that, it was very good!
ReplyDelete