I wonder how the reader can write about this so easily. Why do you always hear about the brave people who face cancer and death with their chin held high? Surely there are people who wouldn't be strong enough, who wouldn't know how to deal with their sudden expiration date thats like the milk cartons at the store. Where is their story? Where is the story of the cancer patient who cant help but cry and mope? Is it that there aren't any? Or is it just that no one wants to hear it? Is it that cancer, although crippling, as an act of mercy bestows the strength to carry on, to bare it all on strong shoulders? I really don't know anything about cancer.
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Caroline I really like this piece. It has a strong central idea and the details are based around it very efficiently. The only things I would change are the occational wrong word (like then instead of than) or missplaced comma. I'm sure proof-reading would fix that right up. :)
ReplyDeleteI really really liked your piece!! i thought it was really good and i loved the name and the talk about the live strong bracelet and how for him it showed false hope. there were some places where there were some spelling errors but i'm sure if you just go back and read it you'll catch those. Good job!
ReplyDeleteCaroline, your piece was very descriptive. You captured the emotions of the character without really saying them aloud, what most writers do. I liked the interaction between characters, but maybe more description of their appearance, and the setting. Overall, it was a great piece (:
ReplyDeleteHey Caroline! I really, really enjoyed this peice i especially liked the ending. I think that to make it better you should just add more to it!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very strong piece! the emotion and the voice and ideas were sooo amazing. i was really hooked into the story. i know you said to press, but i dont see anything wrong with it. keep up the good work :)
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