This piece is essentially something that I wrote about an experience in orchestra. It is a reflection to a free write that I wrote at the beginnging of the year. It was a very memorable time, so I wanted to expand my free write into something more thorough that could capture more of my thoughts. So, I decided to do that for my portfolio piece inspired by a free write. I hope you enjoy it. :)
~Press
http://www.scribd.com/doc/25870353
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Kelly this is a really good piece. I liked the fact that I could tell exactly what you were thinking and feeling. It's a really great memory that I'm sure plenty of others will enjoy reading. great work!
ReplyDeleteAww, Kelly, I remember this day, and you described it with such good detail in this piece. It was easy to picture this exact moment inside my head. I'm sorry, but i can't think of anything you need to change! You did a very nice job on this piece! :)
ReplyDeleteKelly, I thought your piece needed a more description. Try explaining the solo, the setting, who you were with, how you felt. Also you could add some better word choice as well to make this piece really great.
ReplyDeleteI was so happy for you on that day! you described it perfectly. Even though I already knew what happened you had great details. I felt as if I was sitting there and I was the 1st chair. the only suggestion I have is to broaden your word chioce. (I noticed you used the word proud a lot) ;)
ReplyDeleteKelly, I remember exactly when this happened! I was so happy for you, and you looked quite happy yourself. I'm glad you feel his proud, as you should. And your piece was just as good. I felt you portrayed how you felt very nicely and it was almost as if I could picture it. Although you used the word 'very' a lot. Maybe you could use better word choice. But other than that great job.
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