baseball is one of my favorite sports. i wrote this poem as a piece for english and am aware it is not the best piece. i know i suck so you don't have to rip me to shreds.
Bless, please
http://www.scribd.com/doc/25943431/Baseball
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Jake, I think your poem is really good. I like how you used onomonpias to describe the game. I like the rhyme scheme too. I think your poem is really unique and has good word choice. I like how each line is ten syllables. The only thing i noticed was that you used the word 'ball' in the first three lines. The way how you kept the reader hooked was also really good, you just didn't say how the team was really bad and you were going to smash them, you like said how it was close and either team could win. Also, the way you described the game, like as a whole and not just how it was being played, was a unique idea to add. Good job:)
ReplyDeletejake, this definitely does not suck. I like how you turned never into ne'er. And really it's the content that strikes me, baseball is obviously something that you love and it really shows through this piece, well done.
ReplyDeleteJake, I agree with Megan- your writing does not suck!
ReplyDeletewow! nice job! very nice how you used such a great rhyming scheme. I liked the PANG and SWANG. You used alot of good catchy words!
ReplyDeleteIt was a great poem that really showed the feeling of winning a game. The words emphasized your feeling in a very good way.
ReplyDeleteJake, great job dude! the way you described in full detail how baseball is to you was magnificent. keep up the good work dude!
ReplyDeletehey jake, great poem!!! i really like how you used all of the detail and it gave me a great visual of how important baseball is to you. i can see you as a poet in the future!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a sweet poem and i agree completely. Great detail and baseball is defintly the best sport ever invented.
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