This piece was just an abstract concept (which I'd thought about re-naming "High School", hehe) that came together with some good description to create it. I have no personal ties with this piece, so i'd like to be pressed. And so, here's, "Dark and Light Scene".
http://www.scribd.com/doc/25943236/Dark-and-Light-Scene
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A very mysterious piece, it was well written and used a lot of good descriptions. It may be better if you tried turning it into a freeverse poem or adding a some more on to it.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a great piece, and interesting. I haven't read a portfolio piece like this, but I thought it was well done. I would like to see a structured poem more.
ReplyDeleteWow, that was an intense piece. You did include description, but it was almost too mysterious. I think you should add a real issue into it instead of letting the reader make one up. If you want to leave it as is, then it would be better as a poem. Otherwise it was an enjoyable piece.
ReplyDeleteThis was very dark(he he). It was very intense and full of mystery. It is confusing only for the fact that I could not tell what the setting or plot was. I think it would be a better poem.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good piece, however I felt it was really dramatic and intense. Maybe something you could do is add more onto it or make it a poem. It must have been interesting to write.
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